Introducing...

Sweet! She finally writes in her blog! Hayley + miles of espace = most boring autobiography ever. [assuming we go by Wilde's theory that all opinion is autobiography].

I've abstained from writing so far for fear of lack of stuff to write about. now i have the opposite problem. I have let the following items stack up:
My "new" astra
Joss Stone in concert
Gomez in concert
rockin' it out with the hoi polloi in hip hop town
my work (past, present, future)
my recently formed views on men
of totally minor importance, but the discovery of an awesome dish, the recipe of which i shall divulge shortly.
CHAPTER 1: THE "NEW" ASTRA
I am the proud owner-ish* of a holden astra. It goes okay, except for when i turn on the indicators I in fact turn on the window wipers,
except for the airconditioning which is broken on every setting except full-bore,
except for the left rear view mirror, which holds a 7yr curse, is hanging on by its cables and which i have mercifully duct-taped back on,l
except for the missing hubcap,
and the non-working tape deck/tuner (torture that there's no cd player, but this? this is obscene);
and the massive scrapes down the side which look like edward scissor hands got mad at it (and it also makes me look like a s--t driver),
... oh and it stalls every once in a while 'just to keep you on your toes',
and the seat slides forward when you go down hills - so its kind of like a weights resistance exercise, which has its own benefits i suppose...
and it smells like dog. But this problem is far better than the one preceding it - yep, this baby sat in a backyard owned by dogs and contracted mange. It was a mangey, flea-lousy beast.
But its my car, and once its had its first service in 6 years on wednesday, and about $20 worth of coins blown on it at carlovers, and an ipod fm tuner to fit its born-again radio, it will be unreal. I'm not talking Joss Stone in Concert unreal, but 'i have a car now' unreal. the kind of unreal that becomes a petrol-smelly reality at the bowser, but for now its my ticket to Outta Here.
There seems to be something about Brisbane, that once you have lived here a little while there is this desperate need to be in a place [similar to Outta Here] called "Anywhere But Brisbane". I have my own views on this, but as I'm not really a local, I would appreciate feedback from any Brisbanites on this itchy-feet complex. Help is appreciated, because I'm feeling it too.
That said, it could just be my flatmate. I think i might get him an apron and some deoderant for Christmas. Too obvious?
CHAPTER 2: Joss Stone, Live and in Concert
Oh man. I was in the front row for one of the most phenomenal live acts i have ever seen. Joss Stone sets my pants on fire. Now I'm female, and as straight as the day is long. That was me. The guys behind me? I don't like to speculate, but it did suddenly grow very hot in that pit. I pushed forward on the barricade, not wanting to discover the cause of the climate change. I looked at Joss. I swear Joss looked at me. I thought 'bitch, if I had a voice and legs like that'. She probably thought 'what's my next line' or 'gee, those boys behind that lass are lookin' a wee bit flushed'.
I get distracted. I haven't even told you about her band yet. Now you know a band are going to be something else when the bass player is a 40-something skinny white thing sporting the world's worst greasy-long-curl haircut & thinks a banana yellow dress shirt matched with a black leather vest. Or when the shoop shoop girls are 2 voluptuous afro-american women with the most enormous breasts I have seen in the flesh, and one of the shoop-shoopers is a male, afro-american with corn-row hair and an NYPD outfit on [rather reminiscent of the village people, don't you think?]... Or maybe the fact that she fleeced James Brown's sax and trumpeter from his not-yet-cold corpse, and you can tell (i'm talking bowler-hats and risky business sunnies, ladies and gentlemen). Either way, a line up like this has that paralytic effect that keeps you nailed to the earth like a confused-looking statue. Could be pondering the universe, could be blown away by most-incredibly-virtuousic-line-up ever... they can play, and they don't just play like a cd. Every last one of them added something to the mix, and every last one of them kicked ass.
I should actually tell you what's good about seeing her live. There is a tangible kinetic energy in the air on that stage, she maintains a rapport with the audience and gets us doing stuff (to stop looking like confused and/or aroused statues) and talks to us (SO IMPORTANT. I can think of a metallica concert that was like putting on a cd) and THAT VOICE OH MY GOD. She has this pure, clean and expressive voice that will just blow you away. and then, for the fellas (and those among us who will credit talent where its due) she moves across the stage so well, and keeps you entertained.
Lets total that up, shall we? Voice + muy guapa + talented band + rapport with audience + awesome music + moves like a senorita = very cool show
CHAPTER 3: GOMEZ LIVE AND IN CONCERT
It seems unfair to place this after such a rave about Joss, because when it comes down to it, I have 6 of Gomez's 7 cds, I know every last lyric to their song, I worship the ground they walk on. And live, they, too, are actually quite awesome. they are a quirky bunch, all cute (not attractive cute, but 'i'd like to take you home and give you a bath' cute) unshaven, daggy dorks in coke-bottle glasses. But that is to detract from their slightly ethereal tunes and their weird lyrics which often just express things a little better than the average poet/lyricist/hip-hop 'dog', or maybe they just do that for me. NB 'Gonna get myself arrested' is not what i mean by singing what i'm thinking. Maybe fill my cup? ... been picking up girls and diseases, ladies and gentlemen... maybe more along the lines of 'fill my cup / and make me happy / fill it up /and make me smile [make me smile]/fill my cup and give me a reason / a reason to feel alright'
or virginia (if you know how to run, sweet virginia, you should run...)
So seeing them play around on stage with their songs and each other was, for me, fan-******tastic!
Hayley Forms Intenion to Commit an Aggravated Offence against Technology
[Argh I don't believe this! The bipolar internet has decided to play dead again! and now I am going to lose my blog]
ahh i have written stacks for one night, anyway. and don't say i never post. i do, i just dump a short, boring novel on you every few years.